Holding Steady
in Uncertain Times
Spring 2020
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"Things falling apart is a kind of testing and also a kind of healing. We think that the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don't really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It's just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen:
room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy."
–Pema Chödrön, When Things Fall Apart
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Dear friends,
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When 2020 kicked in, my first thought was phew, I'm so glad 2019 is over! I wouldn't want to go back and relive the intensely polarized and polarizing slog that was last year.
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On January 1 it felt like the winds had changed. The shift in energy was tangible. The air felt softer, my mood lighter.Â
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Things seemed to be falling into place, literally – like the photo below that I took in early January while in Texas celebrating my mom's 90th birthday.
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It shows a surprise encounter with a leaf – after I'd watched it slide effortlessly through the narrow opening of my empty wine glass and settle gently inside. What are the chances of that? Of all the places this silly little leaf could have landed, this one simple act seemed extraordinary and purposeful. It felt like a sign.
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A sign of what exactly I can't be sure. Given that suddenly things don't feel quite as balmy as they did three months ago; given that the coronavirus is turning everything upside down on a global and massive scale as I write this, maybe the glass metaphor has a bigger message to impart than I had previously thought.
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Maybe the way to "hold" all this madness is not to hold on at all, but hold a space for it instead; to take a page out of Pema Chödrön's book When Things Fall Apart and remember that nothing is static or linear. Things come apart and they come together. Life can contract in unspeakable ways and can expand beyond our wildest imaginings. And our only job really, if we're willing the play the
bigger game, is to make room for all of it with as much compassionate awareness as we can.
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We may just discover that holding a space for our current reality without attachment – feeling the weight of it without taking it on – is all we need to do (and can do) to help us move through it... perhaps to even more freeing and expanding states of being waiting for us on the other side.
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Maybe a sign of things "falling into place" is really just a reminder to drop into our center; to use the immutable core of our being as our source of power and resilience.
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So how do we do that exactly? How do we remain clear and centered in the midst of major turbulence and change? How do we manage a monkey mind that is bingeing on fear and every possible doom and gloom scenario? How do we keep our "container" from getting knocked over and shattering all over the place?Â
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We practice.
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This is where the Spacious Way as a daily practice can be a big support and ally in turning down the noise; where conscious slowing down and simplifying, sensing, surrendering, and self-care can keep us calm and steady in the midst of major change and uncertainty.
So, if it feels like things are falling apart and out of control in your world, you may find comfort in knowing that it is only temporary and fluid. We will get through this. Also, it may help to know that there is a lot you can do to find your center of gravity, drop seamlessly into it, and ride out any storm that comes your way.
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Keep scrolling for ways to play. And for daily inspirations going forward, go to my Instagram feed and stories. Â
Happy clearing!
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Stephanie
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The Spacious Way to Finding Your Center
A Five-Step Practice
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Getting rattled by world events? Feel like the world is coming apart and you along with it?
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Here are 5 STEPS to help you navigate (any) bumpy weather and find your center. For best results, practice all 5 steps, in the order presented, for a least one minute a day until the energy shifts.
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You can apply the process to a specific issue or adopt it as a daily calming practice. Over time, you'll begin to notice how each step becomes a seamless flow.
- Slow down: Reduce the speed. This first step is key and speaks for itself. The moment you begin to feel like everything is caving in on you and falling apart into one heaping bundle of nerves, stop what you're doing, and sit down if you can. Take an easy breath in, and slow emptying breath out. Repeat for several seconds before moving to step 2.
- Simplify: Reduce the noise. When you feel a bit more grounded, ask yourself "What is one thing I can do right now to simplify my situation and help shift my energy?" Maybe it's to turn off the bad news on TV or social media, focus on something positive and good in the world, take a walk, sit in the sun (viruses hate the sun, I'm told)... Maybe it's simply to repeat step 1 and keep breathing in and out until your nervous system calms.
- Sense: Increase the awareness. With all of your senses – smell, taste, touch, seeing, hearing, and intuition – tune into how your current situation makes you feel. Get really specific. For example, your hands, are they hot, cold, prickly, tight, grippy, clingy...? How's your breathing? Is it deep, is it shallow? How about your energy level? Are you draggy, revved up, jittery, excited, frustrated, overwhelmed, bored, terrified, punched out, pissed off, nauseated...? This
step helps you get out of your head and into the present now.
- Surrender: Increase the acceptance. This step goes hand in hand with step 3. Use it to witness and allow any physical, mental, and emotional discomfort you might be feeling to simply be what it is without doing anything to fix or manage it. If you're feeling overwhelmed or rattled, for example, don't push it away. Face it with curiosity and follow where it takes you. Notice where in your body you feel it. Notice if by simply "witnessing the weather" without attachment
shifts it. And note, surrender does not mean giving up. It means stepping up (your game) by stepping back and "not arguing with reality" as Byron Katie would say.
- Self-Care: Increase the self-love. This step is where you give yourself permission and the space to ask for what you need, set clear boundaries, or simply be. Ask yourself "What is one thing I can do to support myself in feeling calmer (centered, more spacious, nourished, etc.) right now? If you're not feeling it yet, go back to step 4, or 3, or 2, or 1. The previous four steps are building up to this stage and will give you the bandwidth to make choices that better serve
and support your highest and best good.
As you keep cycling through each step over time, notice what happens to the world "out there" as you shift the energy within.
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And PS, if you could use more support with this process, and become a master of the Spacious Way, I've written a whole book that can help you go much deeper. It's called A Year for You and you can check it out by clicking the green button below.
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Hands On Care
Hand Wash Recipe and "Clearing" Process
Out of hand sanitizer? Take matters into your own hands by making your own with this recipe I found online from Real Simple:
- 1/3 cup aloe vera gel (available at most drugstores)Â
- 2/3 cup 99% rubbing alcohol ((isopropyl alcohol)
- Container with watertight lidÂ
- Small funnel (optional)Â
- Essential oils (optional)
Follow it up with the beautiful hand washing practice below to help quiet the mind and release the fear:
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Credits: With gratitude to HeatherAsh Amara for sharing this meme with her readers and me! Actual source is unknown.
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Clearing Online
Join over 200,000 participants!
Want more support? Check out Stephanie's popular online courses on DailyOM designed to lift, lighten, and enlighten.
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The Practice
Maintain and deepen
A Year for You book distills two decades of clearing's best practices into five simple steps – slowing down, simplifying, sensing, surrendering, and self-care – designed to reduce overwhelm and cultivate a clearing way of life.
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A Year to Clear book is the "Camino of clearing." Its daily, "slow-drip" wisdom takes you on a revealing journey designed to release what is holding back – from the inside out.
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Your Spacious Self book introduces you to a whole new (game-changing) way to clear your home and life in ways that support, nourish, and last.
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Stephanie Bennett Vogt is a leading space clearing expert, teacher, and author of five books and four online courses. She brings forty years of experience to SpaceClear, a practice she founded in 1996 helping homes and people come into balance.
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