In my last message on sensing, I wrote that if we want to become masters of clearing overwhelm for good, we need to open ourselves up to feeling everything with all of our awareness and heart.
If "feeling everything" sounds daunting and even self-destructive to the sensitive souls that we are, let me tell you what makes it possible to tune into all this sensory input without getting sucked in, overloaded, or even more overwhelmed by the emotional charge that it carries.
It is called detachment.
This brings us to surrendering – the fourth step in our journey on reducing overwhelm. It is a big one, possibly one of the most challenging of the Five S's for us humans to "get" because it's not intellectual. We cannot think our way through this one, I'm afraid. The good news is that to the degree that you are willing to be fully present, surrendering will expand you big time.
Surrendering is the ability to rise above any emotional weather pattern and simply be a witness to it. It is the ability to watch our stories and dramas unfold (to the degree that we are able) and not get plugged in by them. It is the ability to take nothing personally, or too seriously.
And just to be clear, here is what surrendering does not mean:
- It does not mean "giving up." If anything, it is more like "stepping up" (your game) by stepping back.
- It does not mean "settling" (for less). On the contrary, being less plugged-in allows you to live your truth from a place of authenticity.
- It does not mean being cold and heartless. Far from it. You are way bigger and more powerful than that! Feeling deeply and detaching (at the same time) is true compassion.
Surrendering is not hard work. It is heart work. As a compassionate witness you can create a much bigger container that can process a whole lot more overwhelm without crushing you.
It's Only Weather
In my previous message about sensing I talked about some of the unpleasant side-effects (read: growing pains) in my personal journey with clutter clearing.
While it might look like I was enlightened pretty early on, the truth is it took me months to figure out what was really going on, and many years after that to understand its deeper significance for my life and our world.
It took months to conclude that all of that physical pain and emotional stuckness I was feeling was no different than the weather – the bumpy, dark, rainy, stormy, cloudy, sticky, weather that feels so awful when you're in it.
It took months to understand what it means to separate out what is the "true me" from what is "weather." And while I'm still very much a student on this path – still learning to pay attention, still forgetting to pay attention,
still suffering from my unique brand of worries and attachments when I don't pay attention – it is always a relief when I finally stop the circus going on in my head and remember to separate out the plugged-in, false, "overwhelmed me" from the more spacious, real, "witnessing me."
It's a Practice
If you can't "think" your way to becoming a master of non-identification and compassion, you might be wondering how exactly does one learn? How does one learn to detach and not identify with every thought that doesn't serve, emotion that doesn't feel good, or memory that hurts?
You practice. You practice by reaching for the previous three steps (S's): slowing down, simplifying, and sensing. They are your new best friends. They will help you rise above anything that is holding is holding you back.
Weather Can Feel Worse
As we've touched upon already, overwhelm (aka weather) is nothing more than a form of energy. Stuck energy, as I like to call it. And releasing stuck energy, especially, if it's been around for a while, doesn't always feel very good.
To the degree that you can hang out in this messy middle without judging the sensations you are feeling, is when things will start to shift. And lift. For good.
Practice 4 – Surrendering
Here's my invitation for the next five days:
- Re-read this lesson with beginner's mind, slowly. What happens when you detach from having to understand this material perfectly (with your head)?
- Do nothing. Next time a button gets pressed (you feel frustrated or annoyed by someone or something, you feel dismissed or unheard, you feel shame, or guilt, or overwhelm), "do nothing" about it (that you usually do) to fix, manage, stuff, bury, or even medicate the situation. Instead, use it as an opportunity stop and breathe into it. Ask yourself if there is there something you can do to simplify
the situation. Take at least one minute to tune into the situation with all six senses without judging it, or yourself (this is key).
- Watch the "weather" come and go. Bring as much awareness to the emotional weather patterns that generally pass through without identifying them as "yours." Repeat the phrase "It's only weather" every time you notice a negative thought, stuck pattern, or painful memory creep in, and watch what happens. What happens to your nervous system when you dis-identify? How quickly does the
weather move through you when you stay with it, and what does it look and feel like on the other side of it? Keep playing with this new state of being with as much curiosity as you can.
Photo and text by Stephanie Bennett Vogt
Portions of this material are excerpted from A Year for You, Hierophant Publishing, 2019
Copyright © All Rights Reserved
